Without appropriate time to retreat and be with God, it is harder to praise him and fully experience the blessings of what he gives even when miracles happen right in front of me...

Oh the irony (and goodness) of beginning to understand why God hallowed the sabbath.

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.

God's creation is good. I am of God's creation, as are you, and all those around us. We are God's creation.



In Genesis we see how God is lavish and abundant and pulls out all the stops in creation. While studying the creation stories at January Jumpstart, our group came up with the analogy of parents getting a baby room together in expectancy of a coming child. They paint the room, buy a changing table, a mobile, and a crib with pillows, blankets, and stuffed friends. There is intention behind each action as they prepare for their little one. They are preparing an environment for their child to come home to. And all this is done before their child is born. Before they have even glimpsed or held this child.

The elaborate story of God's creation speaks volumes behind his love for us! God created the lights, the trees, the creatures, the land, and the sea for us! for me! I have always been one who appreciates nature, but to stop and think on the fact that God created all that is upon the earth is truly ... beyond me.

In the word it says that "The earth was without form and void, and darkness was upon the face of the deep." To think that before earth there was just darkness... what does that even mean? In "The Bucket List" one of the characters talks about hiking, and how at the highest elevations the skies are black even by day because there is too little air to reflect the sun. I can not imagine what there was before creation. Formlessness. A void beyond understanding. It truly necessitates a redefinition of what i consider loneliness or emptiness. For even in my loneliest, most desperate moments- God's creation still reigns around. Even at the depths of depression or loss, I can never know the void that was "before."

And on the sixth day, God continued his powerful acts of creation by forming man-- the pinnacle of creation. Entrusting to us his creation- giving us dominion.

That the beauty of the sunsets, the perfection of nature, and the majesty of the creatures of the earth were not the pinnacle of God's creation is counter to my view of the world. When i watch the sun set across the horizon, i do not stop and consider that such beauty is part of the creation that God created for me. In the analogy of the baby room, the colors of the sky turning beautiful shades of yellow, pink, and purple are just colored paint on the wall. God's focus was not such beauty, but mankind. I am the baby that God is bringing home to watch over and nurture! What would it be like for me to live as one who truly believes that I am made in God's image? How would i view myself differently? How would i view those around me?

Such a thought in itself merits much thought and reflection. But what hit me hardest at January Jumpstart is that if God is so elaborate and intentional in creation, then how much more must he be so in his relationship with us? As God spent five days creating and forming the earth before placing us in it, there is intention and purpose for each relationship, experience, and decision that has occurred in my life. How fitting, then, that a week later i was invited to move to Dykstra and help lead BCM? Too many times i downplay events in my life that are actually significant. Too rarely do i stop to ask God and reflect on how or why things are happening in the context of all that has already occurred in my life. And for this reason, it is too often that i say "No" to God or consider myself incapable. God does not ask me to do racial rec without having already brought me into experiences that have challenged this area of my spiritual understanding. Neither does he ask me to give up my plans for medical school without having already shown me that my heart is elsewhere. How then, can i be one who is aware of God's intentional hand in my life both in the present and the past? And how can i be a child who welcome's God's hand when he bids me to follow him in places that are hard? To live with the understanding that even the great leaps of faith he asks of me are never blind, if i would only stop to see that his hand has already been constantly crafting and forming both me and my experiences.


...to be continued...

I just had one of the most trippy experiences in recent memory.

So i was up last night into the early hours of this morning and at some point realize the insanity of my sleeplessness and decide that i will finish typing up notes for one more lecture before going to bed.

At some point i end up falling asleep on the couch. When i wake up, i hibernate my laptop then go to bed.

Just now i sat back down to finish typing notes. I opened my word document and find the following:



The two sentences in the green box read:
o Hear that people here will be running some other sourse near jessica’s car.
 Tradition will not be carried on, but sunset may need that to be the case

Two, randomly typed sentences in the midst of my marine bio lecture notes on light, salinity, and depth. Though one is out of context and a little weird, both sentences are actually complete sentences. and its funny that i even hit 'enter' then 'tab' before typing that second sentence...

The first is a little random. Im not sure if theres any significance to it. But Jess Pham's the only jessica i know with a car... so maybe i should warn her about people 'running some other source' near her car...

That second sentence, however, is incredibly profound.
That tradition will not be carried on is already decided for me in that i wont be staying in sunset. But as i pass it on it will be good for the leaders to step into new things and make the ministry their own. And as much as it would be hard for me to see traditions change or die down, it will indeed be good to see sunset change and grow and engage with God and community in new ways.

Now i've heard of prophetic dreams before... but this? what is this??

oh the things that happen late at night...